Will you forget me Mama ?

I was leaving to the UK last Thursday for the BSF conference. It was mine and Joanna's first time away from each other. I don't know who was more sad :-( . As the date grew closer for my departure, Joanna drew a lot of pictures -her main intent being to help Mama remember her. So she expressed to me all her love, tearful prayer for God to heal my cough, our happy home and gratitude for 'takeing' care of her through her drawings. I was sad at the thought of leaving her behind, though Lloyd, my parents, my sister n family and my brother were in Muscat to care for her. My heart was heavy with unshed tears at the pain of separation for a week. I kept verbally affirming my love for her. But she still needed to 'help Mama remember her' through her drawings. She advised me to look at her pictures everyday so that I wouldn't forget her !

How can I forget her ? For the life of me, I can't ! As a mother, I don't know if there is a moment that Joanna is not on my heart.

In Isaiah 49:15, God says
"Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!

What a reminder of God's love for us ! A great assurance that even if a mother forgets her child, god will not forget us !

God in the ICU

Quite unexpectedly, I stumbled over 'God in the ICU'. Needless to say I was intrigued to find God, at the very spot that people believe, he has forsaken them. Dr. Dave Walker takes you beyond the 'No Entry' sign and gives you a glimpse of Immanuel- God with us.

God in the ICU

I was riveted by the first person account of varied experiences and emotions in the backdrop of one man's relationship with God. Raw fear, doubt, disappointment, sorrow, hope and joy dot the landscape of seeking God. This journey of faith documented by a man of science will tug at the strings of your head and heart as you follow his medical career. Experiencing the heart of God in the crucible of human suffering lends a divine perspective to our narrow humamistic viewpoin
My faith has been challenged as I traversed the unique circumstances crafted by each life-story. The truth stands out that every joy and tragedy of life is interwoven seamlessly in Gods master plan for our lives. Unlike the mundane probabilities that fairy tales lend, 'God in the ICU' is a reminder that the curtain drawn at life's last breath need not be to a hopeless end, rather one can choose endless hope in Christ.

Personally, I was fascinated by each encounter with God that the book describes. There is no doubt that you will be encouraged and strengthened as you experience the sovereignty of the ' Author of life' through the life of the book's author - Dr. Dave Walker.

Dr. Dave has a blog http://godintheicu.wordpress.com/ where he can be contacted. His book 'God in the ICU is available on Amazon in kindle edition as well.

Freedom from Forgiveness Frustations

Does forgiveness frustrate you ? Have people been hurting you time and time again ? Do the repeated offenses torment you? When you are hurt by strangers and mere acquaintances you may dismiss the situation with the tide of time. What about family and loved ones, whom you cannot walk away from?

I have my share of forgiveness frustrations! Let me share a couple of thoughts that help treat my forgiveness struggle -

1) I am not perfect !! I may also be hurting people with my actions or words.
2) The extend of Gods forgiveness floors me - I still need God's mercy and forgiveness everyday.

Reminds me of the servant who had a huge debt that he could not repay.He begged the master's forgiveness to save him from the debtor's prison. The master forgave him. On returning home, he met a man who owed him a big debt . He who was shown mercy, was now merciless towards this man. He flogged him and put him in prison.

How like me! Though I may not flog a person physically, my thoughts do the flogging just the same. I have been forgiven so much by Jesus. I cherish the love and mercy that he has poured over my life. I need to extend what has been extended to me. I need to pour God's ever abounding love and mercy into the lives of people who need it from me. Heard it said that - Hurting people hurt people.

There is a question I ask the Lord when faced with the dilemma of forgiveness frustrations. How many times must I forgive this person, Lord? I thank God for Peter who was in the same boat of frustration. In Mathew chapter 18 verse 21-22, Peter asked Jesus whether forgiving seven times was good enough. Jesus replied to forgive seventy times seven. That's a whopping 490 instances of forgiveness. I heard it said that forgiveness would be a habit by then.

Forgive has a 'give' - the giving of Love ! This giving sets us free from forgiveness frustrations !

Little Faith, Much Grace

                                                             

I am ashamed Lord . Ashamed at my lack of faith. I desired that you would allow me to serve you. You opened doors and my dream became a reality. Faith sounded as easy as it is spelt. I started strong with a song in my heart. Fuelled by passion, I was buoyed by supernatural provision.

Serving the Lord calls for growing FAITH in action. I was in for a rude awakening when worldly logic labeled my faith as foolish. Reason befriended emotion and quashed feeble faith.  In an attempt to prove myself 'worldly-wise', I fret, I fume and fumble through a self inflicted maze of misery.  Fear leaves a hazy path when trials cloud my vision.  Goliath's shadow eclipses my view and obstructs my way. I am far too nearsighted. The deafening roar of doubt and worry silence the faint whisper of my faith. That's when I falter, I fall, I fail.

Peter dared to walk where the other disciples didn't dream. His focus was fixed on the one he loved. Not taking his eyes off the master, he stepped out of the boat and walked on water as though on land. A bolt of lightening, the clap of thunder and roaring billows called his senses to attention. His focus shifted. No fisherman in his right mind would venture into troubled waters let alone a stormy sea such as this. No seasoned sea hand would dare tame a tempest. Reason weighed him down even before he began to sink. He cried out, 'Lord save me!'.

Had not Peter seen Jesus calm a storm before? Where was his faith? How could one who claimed to be a disciple stoop so low as to sink in doubt ? Hearken to the voice of condemnation, and the story ends there.

But, Jesus reached out and caught Peter. Jesus reaches out and catches me too when I fall. Peter didn't deserve it, neither do I.

Thank God for grace. Grace reaches out when no one else can and no one else will. Grace pardons and restores. Grace promises to be ever present. Grace dispels our fears and leads us on.

Amazing grace ! Amazing indeed.

Far, now near

Far have I wandered,

Oh Savior dear.

Won't thou please,
draw me near ?

On life's treacherous way,

none have I.

Wont thou please,
with me stay?

For In thee,
I'll find my joy,

my soul's surety,
Through all eternity.

May thy love, 

my comfort be.

Oh, how I love thee !

Crossing over

Two people I know crossed over from life to death. Among all the positions they held in life, their relationships defined them as a son, brother, uncle, husband and father. The other was a daughter, sister, wife, mother and aunt. Their absence leaves a void in the lives of all loved ones. Death seemed to have caught them by surprise. They didn't plan or intend to die. Their moment of 'passing on' crept on them, unannounced.

Life takes on more meaning when considered with its end in mind. Death has an astonishing impact on 'Life' perspective ! The death knell awakens the living. Ponder with me, what life's last thoughts would be.

 Will my mind be preparing a balance sheet of assets and liabilities or Will I long to have lived more fully and loved more dearly ? In view of the inevitable, I thought of Life in two terms.

Life defined by Time and Destination :
 My body will surely 'expire', but soul lives forever ! Am I Heaven bound or Hell ? Of all the choices I make in life, this is the most important one. Death cannot catch a prepared person unawares. The only preparation you really need is the simplest of all. Believe and Receive Jesus. John 3 v 16 and John 1v 12

Life in terms of Investments and Possessions :
What possesses me, matters more than what I possess ! Does bitterness and unforgiveness possess me or am I driven by love and compassion ?  Am I obsessed with possessing? Does it really matter what I do or do not possess when I am bound to leave it all behind? Will my possessions last the test of time ? Am I investing in what will survive the onslaught of moth, rust and thieves ? Mathew 6 :19-21

When it is time to say 'Goodbye' will you and I feel 'Good to say Bye' ? 
Lord may our last moments on earth be filled with the Hope of Heaven and the Joy of meeting Jesus and all our loved ones again. May we live lives in keeping with that Joy and Hope.

Words that Hurt ?



At the outset, let me acknowledge that there may be,the possibility that Harsh words 'never' Hurt you. If you are thus special, please skip this post and read another one :-) Let me be honest with you, I am an extremely poor recipient of verbal assault. I just cannot take hurtful words in my stride. For that matter, when I am exposed to injustice of any kind, I have to search whether I have at least one 'peacemaker' bone in me. And of course, the tongue gets skipped in that search ! Injustice is inversely proportional to the boiling point of my blood. The report of injustice may have no relevance to me, yet I struggle to stomach it.
 I have listed a couple of standard responses when I am barraged with hot or cold verbal litter.

1. I turn into a iceberg, confusingly cool on the outside but unbelievably unsettled underneath the surface. If the words are cold and harsh, there is every possibility of a Titanic collision unless there is change of course. If served on a hot platter, it can trigger a pressure cooker response.
2. I forget the proverbial 'Bell and Brake' and let loose a tirade of my own choicest 'lawyer' vocabulary. Lawyer vocabulary basically comprises of sarcastic insensibility's. 
3. Volcanic eruption ! I am sure this needs no explanation.The target does not usually survive to tell the tale! :-) That was too graphic an exaggeration. Basically, the survivors wont know what hit them. A vial of venom may spill as well.

There are another two response that are evolving ever since I agreed to be refined by the Refiner's Fire.

1. Zipped lip - rhymes doesn't it ? zip-lip (that's what happens when you have a 5 yr old !). In this particular response, a divine providence restrains the tongue and causes it to remain inside the mouth. During this phase, it is possible that the brain is spewing out exquisite arguments, yet there is a temporary 'Speechlessness'. I say divine providence because that's what it is - an answer to prayer from some prior period of deep Communion with God. It is also highly probable that 'Somebody's praying for me'.
2. Sweet words - this is still a rare and very precious response to me. I find some foreign words on my tongue like 'I forgive you', 'Its alright' etc.. I am usually convinced then, that somebody else is using my mouth to speak - At the end of it, I feel drained.. as though from extreme exhaustion. Yet, an indescribable peace overtakes me assuring me that God will take care of everything. And believe me, God does !

How do you respond when something or someone blows your head away ? Do you pretend like you are not hurt and avoid the situation ? Maybe you bottle it up ? Believe me, A pressure cooker that is cooking for years together is not a pleasant place to be. The key is to 'Let Go' and 'Let God'. God can calm any storm ! God can reverse any situation. Allow him to work his way in your response !