Watching over you !

We were at the hospital 2 weeks ago when I was down with high fever. The air conditioning in the waiting room was too cold for me. Even the warmest spot of the room had me shivering. I decided to step outside the room. That way the summer breeze would keep me warm while I waited for my turn. Joanna was content playing a game on the phone.

After a while, Lloyd arose to clarify some concern at the reception. I watched through the glass pane on the door, as he stepped away. Hardly a moment later, Joanna turned and realized that both of us were nowhere to be seen. She immediately rose from her seat and frantically looked around. Though I could see her through the glass pane on the door, she couldn't see me.I quickly opened the door, stepped into the waiting room. Relief flooded her face. I reassured her that I was watching her and she was not alone.

I heard myself say," I am watching you Joanna from outside the door. You carry on playing." I had barely heard my mouth speak those words, when a still small voice spoke straight to my heart. "I am watching over you too, my child. I never let go." The words in Psalm 121 echoed in my heart - "The protector of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps, The Lord watches over you". The voice was undoubtedly the calm reassurance of God, for no other voice can speak peace to my soul.

                             
Frail as we parents are, we fail often in watching (both physically and spiritually) over our little ones. What peace and joy to rest in the shadow of the One who watches over us all. The Father up above watches you and me with love.

Will you forget me Mama ?

I was leaving to the UK last Thursday for the BSF conference. It was mine and Joanna's first time away from each other. I don't know who was more sad :-( . As the date grew closer for my departure, Joanna drew a lot of pictures -her main intent being to help Mama remember her. So she expressed to me all her love, tearful prayer for God to heal my cough, our happy home and gratitude for 'takeing' care of her through her drawings. I was sad at the thought of leaving her behind, though Lloyd, my parents, my sister n family and my brother were in Muscat to care for her. My heart was heavy with unshed tears at the pain of separation for a week. I kept verbally affirming my love for her. But she still needed to 'help Mama remember her' through her drawings. She advised me to look at her pictures everyday so that I wouldn't forget her !

How can I forget her ? For the life of me, I can't ! As a mother, I don't know if there is a moment that Joanna is not on my heart.

In Isaiah 49:15, God says
"Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!

What a reminder of God's love for us ! A great assurance that even if a mother forgets her child, god will not forget us !

God in the ICU

Quite unexpectedly, I stumbled over 'God in the ICU'. Needless to say I was intrigued to find God, at the very spot that people believe, he has forsaken them. Dr. Dave Walker takes you beyond the 'No Entry' sign and gives you a glimpse of Immanuel- God with us.

God in the ICU

I was riveted by the first person account of varied experiences and emotions in the backdrop of one man's relationship with God. Raw fear, doubt, disappointment, sorrow, hope and joy dot the landscape of seeking God. This journey of faith documented by a man of science will tug at the strings of your head and heart as you follow his medical career. Experiencing the heart of God in the crucible of human suffering lends a divine perspective to our narrow humamistic viewpoin
My faith has been challenged as I traversed the unique circumstances crafted by each life-story. The truth stands out that every joy and tragedy of life is interwoven seamlessly in Gods master plan for our lives. Unlike the mundane probabilities that fairy tales lend, 'God in the ICU' is a reminder that the curtain drawn at life's last breath need not be to a hopeless end, rather one can choose endless hope in Christ.

Personally, I was fascinated by each encounter with God that the book describes. There is no doubt that you will be encouraged and strengthened as you experience the sovereignty of the ' Author of life' through the life of the book's author - Dr. Dave Walker.

Dr. Dave has a blog http://godintheicu.wordpress.com/ where he can be contacted. His book 'God in the ICU is available on Amazon in kindle edition as well.

Freedom from Forgiveness Frustations

Does forgiveness frustrate you ? Have people been hurting you time and time again ? Do the repeated offenses torment you? When you are hurt by strangers and mere acquaintances you may dismiss the situation with the tide of time. What about family and loved ones, whom you cannot walk away from?

I have my share of forgiveness frustrations! Let me share a couple of thoughts that help treat my forgiveness struggle -

1) I am not perfect !! I may also be hurting people with my actions or words.
2) The extend of Gods forgiveness floors me - I still need God's mercy and forgiveness everyday.

Reminds me of the servant who had a huge debt that he could not repay.He begged the master's forgiveness to save him from the debtor's prison. The master forgave him. On returning home, he met a man who owed him a big debt . He who was shown mercy, was now merciless towards this man. He flogged him and put him in prison.

How like me! Though I may not flog a person physically, my thoughts do the flogging just the same. I have been forgiven so much by Jesus. I cherish the love and mercy that he has poured over my life. I need to extend what has been extended to me. I need to pour God's ever abounding love and mercy into the lives of people who need it from me. Heard it said that - Hurting people hurt people.

There is a question I ask the Lord when faced with the dilemma of forgiveness frustrations. How many times must I forgive this person, Lord? I thank God for Peter who was in the same boat of frustration. In Mathew chapter 18 verse 21-22, Peter asked Jesus whether forgiving seven times was good enough. Jesus replied to forgive seventy times seven. That's a whopping 490 instances of forgiveness. I heard it said that forgiveness would be a habit by then.

Forgive has a 'give' - the giving of Love ! This giving sets us free from forgiveness frustrations !

Little Faith, Much Grace

                                                             

I am ashamed Lord . Ashamed at my lack of faith. I desired that you would allow me to serve you. You opened doors and my dream became a reality. Faith sounded as easy as it is spelt. I started strong with a song in my heart. Fuelled by passion, I was buoyed by supernatural provision.

Serving the Lord calls for growing FAITH in action. I was in for a rude awakening when worldly logic labeled my faith as foolish. Reason befriended emotion and quashed feeble faith.  In an attempt to prove myself 'worldly-wise', I fret, I fume and fumble through a self inflicted maze of misery.  Fear leaves a hazy path when trials cloud my vision.  Goliath's shadow eclipses my view and obstructs my way. I am far too nearsighted. The deafening roar of doubt and worry silence the faint whisper of my faith. That's when I falter, I fall, I fail.

Peter dared to walk where the other disciples didn't dream. His focus was fixed on the one he loved. Not taking his eyes off the master, he stepped out of the boat and walked on water as though on land. A bolt of lightening, the clap of thunder and roaring billows called his senses to attention. His focus shifted. No fisherman in his right mind would venture into troubled waters let alone a stormy sea such as this. No seasoned sea hand would dare tame a tempest. Reason weighed him down even before he began to sink. He cried out, 'Lord save me!'.

Had not Peter seen Jesus calm a storm before? Where was his faith? How could one who claimed to be a disciple stoop so low as to sink in doubt ? Hearken to the voice of condemnation, and the story ends there.

But, Jesus reached out and caught Peter. Jesus reaches out and catches me too when I fall. Peter didn't deserve it, neither do I.

Thank God for grace. Grace reaches out when no one else can and no one else will. Grace pardons and restores. Grace promises to be ever present. Grace dispels our fears and leads us on.

Amazing grace ! Amazing indeed.

Far, now near

Far have I wandered,

Oh Savior dear.

Won't thou please,
draw me near ?

On life's treacherous way,

none have I.

Wont thou please,
with me stay?

For In thee,
I'll find my joy,

my soul's surety,
Through all eternity.

May thy love, 

my comfort be.

Oh, how I love thee !