Me !

I am not the same today as I was yesterday, neither am I, what I will be tomorrow. I am being moulded in the Potter's hands. He's still working on me to make me all I ought to be !

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Joy in the Shadows...

Joanna and myself were walking back home last night when she wanted to play 'Hiding in the shadow'. This game needs nothing more than me or Lloyd walking under the lightposts, down a dimly lit lane at night. Jo's tries to neatly tuck herself into my shadow such that neither herself nor her shadow will be seen.
When the lightpost is ahead of me I cast a long shadow behind and Jo tries to walk completely hidden therein. As I walk beneath the lightpost, my shadow is the smallest - At this point Jo comes ahead walking almost on my toes. And when I walk past the light, my shadow lies long in front of me. Jo walks ahead completely hidden in my shadow.

Got me thinking,To walk in my shadow ,Jo has to be as close to me as possible and keep with my pace of walking. And about the darkness, Nothing terrifies Jo when I am near.

When I walk with Jesus, am I walking at his pace or mine ? There is no fear in/of the dark with Jesus near. Eerie shadows dont frighten me. Wise old David said,"Even though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me." I echo his words loud in the sunshine but why do they seem fear laced in the dark ?

Jesus is far bigger than we are. When life is dark and lonesome, lets play 'Hiding in the shadow' with him. Out of habit and probably even because i like the sound of it, I always pray 'Lord keep me in the shadow of the cross'. After this game I realized, how completely covered I am in the shadow of the cross. Satan, Sin and Shame cannot find me there. No fear or confusion when Jesus is near !

Walking in the sunshine, walking in the shadow
Walking all the way, walking everyday
I am walking with Jesus
Walking with Jesus alone !
P.S - As i am typing this, there is an urgent call to the hospital.Whatever it be, Jesus walks with us.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Priceless Freebie !

Like most women, the word 'Sale' or 'Offer' piques my interest. With experience though, I am wary of most ‘free stuff’. When it’s to do with books, toys or clothes, 'Free' can end up being poor quality, old or worn out. At the grocery store 'Free' ends up being bulk that I can't use or have no space to place.Most often than not, Electronics 'Free' refers to accessories covered in whole or part by the price package !

Here are some freebies though,I would really appreciate -
Bestsellers by my favourite authors
Original Jewellery - Precious, Semi-Precious, Costly, Antique whatever. You get the impression that I love jewellery... Not really, but why refuse what you can surely use?
Rent free = 'No Rent'- who wouldn’t like that?
Petrol - this is on behalf of my homeland! It’s cheaper here for me than water so I have no complaints!
Electricity - appreciated in the hot summer months when the bills skyrocket!
Medical Consultations - Dentistry and the like that Medical Insurance doesn’t cover..

While the above is my wish list, I am aware of a vast majority for whom essentials like Food and Water are a precious 'Freebie'.
There is a Freebie though,that is Precious and Priceless. "Its lack leaves a Millionaire in want ! "
This Freebie is complete in itself !! And pray, what is this Freebie you ask.
It's the Love of God - Unconditional, Undeserved yet "Free" to all who will receive it.

Perfect Love that casts away every fear! This 'Love' is the bread of life who said, 'He that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.' Let him who is hungry and thirsty of this love partake!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Choices..

On this particular Friday in June, I was all worked up as the clock ticked by. I dashed around, trying to make it to church on time. Morning devotions , breakfast preparations, dishes to be cleared, clothes to be ironed on went umpteen chores. Last minute additions - drop grandmom home, phone calls etc..
Rushing, pushing through conversations and to-do's, we are finally driving to church. I am frantically praying that the clock would not tick faster than our wheels and yet we are 10 minutes late and ofcourse, no parking available. Blazing sun, breathing heat waves on us, I almost drag the 3 yr old toward the church. Quick smile at the ushers as we hurry to vacant seats. The Singing has already begun. I bow my head for a quick prayer but find it hard to quieten myself. My mind is still running wildly though my body is seated. I am glad I dont have to work myself into a sweating frenzy to worship, yet I am trying desperately to change gears from 'Mad at being late' to 'Lord I love you' mode.
I am quickly reminded of 2 'Reaction' Choices when late-
Choice 1 - React like a Fire breathing dragon ! Get everyone moving with Fury and fumes, even the vehicle !!
or
Choice 2 - React in loving kindness. Let everyone soak into an attitude of gratitude.Worship all the way !
Needless to say, my Worship was transformed into confession.

I had a chance at 'Choice 2' last week. We were ready for church and Palani our weekly help wondered aloud whether we could drop him at his camp.That would mean a total of 10 minutes to return to the route. In short, we would be late by 10 minutes if everything else went well. Realizing a hesitation in our reply, he suggested that it would be better to drop him near the flyover from where he could walk (a solid 20 minute walk in the blazing desert sun- 45 degrees C).
In a flash the Parable of the Good Samaritan enacted itself before my mind. I found myself in Priestly robes scurrying along, leaving behind a needy man crying for help. I found myself muttering,"Worship is priority! I don't have time to get dirty.Somebody is bound to stop! That somebody is not me!I have never broken my impeccable 'punctual' record. For donkey years I have stood at the same spot to worship. For God's sake ! being late means forfeiting my geographical position of my worship!"
In a flash, I am back to 2011
Just as quickly , there arose a question- What would Palani understand better - A legalistic God who would be displeased at a late comer or A loving God whose children reach out in love ?
Needless to say,we chose the route of the Good Samaritan- showed the love of Christ by caring enough to drop him home.We reached 10 minutes late but no change of gear was needed this time.We were in Gods presence all along.

These lessons are not easy all the time.And though I stumble more often than not, I am learning with Gods help to walk in his love.
P.S. Being late to church is not meant to be a custom or tradition.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Elvis couldn't afford love..

I was reading an article on Elvis Presley in the weekend supplement 'Thursday'. In essence the article stated that Elvis had all the money in the world that he desired, but sadly, not enough to buy love. He showered love in the guise of money, mansion, gifts, servants, luxuries untold but eventually none of it impressed his wife, Priscilla. She left it all behind to marry a Karate instructor who was struggling to make 200 Dollars a week. While Elvis sought name and fame, Priscilla left 'Graceland' mansion for something seemingly insignificant ? A pauper more desirable than the King of Rock'n'Roll? Fame or Family - What means more to a King? 'Rich and Famous seeking love' is daily 'Situation wanted' in Hollywood dailies!
I am reminded of Daniel Olsson's poem - What money can't buy. Please follow link and read if you havent already. How tragically true that there's a lot that money can't buy! And yet, we are in some way or the other in the chase of name and fame. We chase God too, for the 'prosperity' of health and wealth that he can bestow. Is it Person or Possesion that motivates your love?
I often wonder at God's deliberate choice of family for the birth of his son, for it speaks much of his love. The King of Kings loved the lowliest of us at the manger in Bethlehem. If Jesus to have been born in royalty, the vast majority of us would have been denied access-'No Entry', 'Access for VIP's only! After all what does the Brahmin(high caste in India) have in common with the SC/ST(low caste) , or the Syrian Marthomite/Central Kerala CSI (traditional Christians - I take ownership here) in common with the Dalit Converts(new converts especially the lower caste)? We hide under the banner of 'common worship' but our true 'love' spills over in our attitudes and deeds. When we are biased, in reality the 'background' dictates our love or its lack. In truly loving people we step beyond material boundaries. God knew that the 'Rich' in wisdom would humbly find their way to the manger. And sure enough the wise men reached the humble home. And home it was, for where love is home is! The dusty dirty stable floor was holy ground on which the three Kings of Orient knelt and worshipped the new born King. The bejewelled Kingly robes lost no poise or dignity sharing the floor with raggedy gruff shepherds!

God is Love. In Christ, Love came seeking us.Death sought to destroy love right from birth and yet, Love laid aside riches, honor and glory at the Cross.
O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?
Love conquered Death. This 'Love' reaches out to the 'Person' in you and me. This 'Love' looks beyond all pretentions and truly it is This ‘Love’ which gives us joy and hope. No more condemnation in love ! Love embraces with joy the Prodigal, fresh as he is from the 'pig sty'!
Ah for the love of God! In love he gave himself – John3v16.

P.S. Love - Noun and love- verb.


Thursday, September 15, 2011

Sorry Daddy...

I am the oldest offspring of a Mountain girl (born and brought up in the hilly rubber plantations of Ranny) and a Kuttanadan boy ( Kuttanad = Alleppy,the home of paddy fields and rivers famous for the snake boat races in Kerala). Dad takes to swimming like fish to the water and the only water mom has seen is deep below in the wells dug on her mountain top home. Me and my siblings, having been brought up in deserts of Oman in the Arabian peninsula, are used to water as in taps and Beaches, neither of which we can go swimming in. School vacations in my dad's hometown meant water, water everywhere and at Mom's place we trekked our way to everywhere. Mom's fear of water always made us wear inflatable floats whenever we went "swimming" and with my dad nearby water never held any fear. But its hard to swim with inflatable’s, so here we are grownups now and neither of us know any bit of swimming, except standing/sitting/lying down in the baby pool !

Deep within me though, there has always been a desire to learn swimming, and so at the age of 30 here I am with hubby’s colleagues (our partners in adventure), who convince me that there is no time like Now !!
First Floating, then it was freestyle =stretching + leg clapping(as our instructor calls it) +head down + hand movement. 4 days across the breadth of the shallow end(3 feet) of the swimming pool doing the above and our 'Sir' decides its time for us to take the plunge at the deep end (16 feet = 2 and half times my height). He had us get down the steps at the deep end and hold our breath, (oh by the way, we go down to the bottom holding the step rails)and to surface we did 'leg cycling' and 'hand flapping' (all in the water) !
In 20 minutes he decides it is time for us to walk off the edge of the pool (at the deep end mind you !). We have to come up to the surface doing what we had just learnt. And All of a sudden i have butterflies in the stomach, fear induced fever, dizziness and the like. As usual I need to see the two others survive the ordeal, before I was going to do anything of the sort. So there goes Prashant walking coolly off the edge, and after some tense seconds he surfaces. Next, I watch Vaishali jump off the edge as though she has been doing this all her life (I think 'who knows?') and a few seconds later she too surfaces. "Now Leena, your turn" brings my brain back into focus and here I am inches away from the edge. I can hear hens clucking but it seems to come from within. While I am mentally reciting all the memory verses i have learnt from kindergarten, 'Sir' says "Leena jump, you will surely come up" (Now that’s mighty consolation alright !).I hesitate and mumble something. He sees my fear and hesitation and goes "Can't you see I am here in the water ! If you struggle, I will surely bring you up. I have been coaching swimming for 13 years".

Splash !! I TAKE THE PLUNGE OFF THE EDGE! I did come up and he was there ! For that moment in time I believed that come what may, 'Sir' had promised to be there !

As I showered and got back, my mind was full. Here I was placing my life in the hands of a man (a human just like me!), willing to trust him to keep his word. Tears ran down my cheeks when I thought of the umpteen times my Daddy God has whispered words of hope. I would weary myself with worry when life demanded leaps of faith. More often than not, life has given me plunges into the deep end. My heart was embarrassed to think that I would so easily trust a stranger, and yet I doubt my Father God for days on end. Surely, I would look back and see his hand, but when life's challenges present itself ,I am yet to fully learn to joyfully take the leap into those strong heavenly arms ! How hurt would my Daddy God be at my unbelief !

Sorry Daddy...

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Get Married Again !


Me and my almost 4 year old Joanna are lying in bed ready to sleep last night, when she has a question. The conversation went like this -

Jo : Mama do you have a baby in your tummy ? (I am conscious at this question -trying to wonder what she is getting it!)
Me: No Joanna.. I don’t have baby in my tummy. Why Kutta (‘Dear’ in English )?

Jo : Mama, You have to be married to get a baby right? (My mind is racing by now)
Me: Yes, we have to be married to have a baby.

Jo : ok Mama you get married again !! (I am splitting by now..but proceed with a calm voice !)
Me: Why kutta ? You want a baby ? (She's been hearing of second baby expectant mama's in her peer group)

She smiles and says 'Yes'
Me : Ok you pray to Jesus and tell him and he will give another baby.

In case you’re wondering about her logic in my needing to get married again,I have a confession to make.

Me and Jo were watching my wedding CD the other day when she kept asking me where she was then and whether she was in my tummy since I was holding the bouquet in front my tummy? (Now don’t ask me where she got that notion from – I honestly have no clue !!)

I told her, Joanna was in heaven with Jesus at the time of my wedding.For which she asked why we didn’t want her to come for the wedding. (some questions are real easy especially when she is all emotional/weepy about having missed her parents wedding !)
I told her that she was not there since we were not married. After we were married , Jesus gifted her to us from heaven.

Now put the two and two together.

In order to have another baby I have to get married again!

The Conclusion - 3 thoughts
1. Why doesn’t Dada get all these intense questions?
2. My Baby's Innocence is so precious!
3. This reminded me, of how much like Jo I am, when I give God suggestions on how to solve life's problems !!

There's a lot I dont know and a lot more I pretend to know, yet I try to give God solutions.
I just got thinking, how much it might tickle God to hear me pray at such times !







Saturday, September 10, 2011

Rod Reminders for Princes' and Pilgrims

To Moses it was but a plain shepherd's rod...
Yet, before God, it would be one for signs and wonders.
Dry and sturdy was the rod reminding Moses,
that with God, "All things are possible" !
You will lean on the rod Moses when words fail you,
for with the rod you shall confound the wise..

Rod for the ruler !
Oh Pharoah ! it's neither an army nor chariots that will sudue you ,
It shall be a rod !
For the rod of God,is deadly ammunition !

This rod can become a snake, turn the Nile to blood
Raised up it can part the red sea...
The rod has claim to neither glamour nor palace poise
Yet when dumb sheep in the desert,
have stripped away, every pride you once possesed...
this rod arises to remind you Moses, your Confidence lies in God,

For in Gods hands, a plain rod is a most powerful weapon...
And to him,
Pilgrims matter more than Princes',
Promises mean more than Pyramid pride...


Monday, September 5, 2011

He's still working on me.

This song was an all time favorite of mine in college. Now as a spouse and parent,when I am hasty to judge and criticize, I try to remind myself that God is still working on my husband and child ! As much as I expect people to be patient while God is working on me, I need to be patient while he works on others too.
 
The Mirror of his word, Reflections that I see
Makes me wonder why he never gave up on me !!
He loves me as I am and hears me when I pray,
Remember he's the Potter, I'm the clay.
 
He's still working on me, to make me all I ought to be
He took in just a week to make the moon and the stars.
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars,
How loving and patient he must be..
He's still working on me !!
 
 
 
 

Masirah Memoirs

Masirah - Its hard to believe such a place as this exists ! About 500 odd kms away from the city,off the coast of Oman lies the island of Masirah. My Type A tendencies searched the web for how best I could utilize this weekend getaway. After a detailed analysis of the various web and blogsite results of Masirah, I tried my best to dissuade Hubby. The reason was obvious - there was nothing to be done there !! For the life of me the last thing I wanted to see was barren deserts.Unfortunately though,It was too late to back out.

With Muscat at 44 degrees C and a drive of 7 hours we wondered what were getting into. Except for a few Oasis' sites,there was absolutely no vegetation in sight and Camels were the only animals that greeted our vision. The next leg of our travel entailed that we travel by Ferry from the Mahoot tip of Oman to reach Masirah. An hour and half to cross 20 kms of sea. By now the temperature was down to 27 degrees. and the cool breeze held us in its sway. So much so, I dozed off on the upper deck of the ferry.

Masirah is so laid back from civilization- Most buildings are single storeyed..No rush or push. No traffic or traffic lights. No fancy dine-outs. No trees. No Nothing to hold your attention except the Sun, Sea and Sand ! And an awesome threesome it was. Except at peak of day, the mornings and evenings found us enjoying the threesome. Nothing more spectacular than watching a sunrise from the sea horizon. Have you watched in fascination at the sun take a dip into the sea at the close of day?The riot of colours that painted the canvas of the sky at even tide are beyond description.The sea shells that dot the beaches and the sand castles that we made, brought to me the simple pleasures of life!! What sheer bliss- My favorite people in the world with me and No To-Do lists for two days ! My life was quietened to another rhythm.And what souvenirs' did we take back ? Precious memories of Love and Laughter !
Life does not necessarily find fulfillment in a checklist of To Do's. Many a time our accomplishments seem like a chase to cross items off our list! We can trust God to help us see beauty in the seeming "Nothingness" of Life. It is possible when we allow our hearts and minds to quieten to Gods Rhythm. In loving God we trust him, and in trusting him we Rest !!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Crutches or Life Support ?

I just got thinking on the following statement -"Religion is a crutch -the excuse of a weak personality" .The 'so called' "Aetheist" frens seem to categorize Religion as another Motivational cum Meditational self helpTechnique.. And I cant wait to emphatically emphazise what I believe !

Firstly I dont believe in "Religion" per say - I too am disappointed by the same.

But Religion as Relationship ? Yes, I wholly endorse it from Experience! I am a Christian - a follower of Christ. Christ is not my crutch - If he was, I would be waiting to get off him and walk on my own two legs...A crutch is never mandatory. Only meant for specific needs at will.

Christ is 'Life Support'...I can't do without him. When I am out of the 'critical stage' requiring "Life support" - Christ is what 'Vital Signs' are to life. A mandatory indication of life. For there is no life in me without him!!