Not my will but thine be done.

What I wanted to become and still occasionally dream of, is story for another day. But one thing I definitely didn’t want, was to become an Engineer! Nevertheless, I prayed dutifully - Not my will Lord, but thine be done. There something about God I don't understand. He takes me very seriously on lines of prayer, that I don’t really mean. After 12th just when life was all about broken dreams, I landed in the college I didn’t like, doing just what I didn’t want- Engineering. Four years later the tide had turned. I had the time of my life doing just that, being just there! Disguised blessings - that’s what my life seems all about.

Final year was a whirlwind with project submission and campus placements. Six months before final exams, I secured Campus placement (read Job) in a Software company. Now here's the joke - I did Electronics and Communication Engineering simply because I hated "Computer/Software Engineering.".The Job was indeed a bad joke but I laughed and accepted life- lemons and all! My motto, "Not my will but thine be done.”

The first day at office required me to sign a service bond of 2 years in return for all the training that I would receive. I needed to have a guarantor co-sign the bond agreeing to pay the amount of 2 lakh rupees, in case I defaulted. For some reason I didn’t receive the email nor the postal intimation of the same. I was in Muscat when a friend informed the date of joining. My return, cut short the trip and mummy’s hopes of gathering her chick back into the nest. With an aching heart, I whispered, 'Not my will but thine be done'.

There I was, on reporting day now but without a guarantor. The HR and legal department were mad at the campus recruits (4 of us) who couldn’t follow orders! Imagine flouting the rules on the very first day. At the first break from the angry tirade, I ran to the toilet and locked myself. To the thunderous accompaniment of running water, I poured my heart to God. All I wanted to do was leave, never to return. Yet, my heart uttered from its deepest recesses - 'Lord not my will but thine be done'. There is something about toilets, tears and triumph, but that’s for later! When I returned, the higher ups seemed kinder and suggested I bring a local guardian or parent within 2 days. My relative in Chennai signed the bond the very next day.
3 years and many awards later, I was selected as a 'Konark' - Mentor in the organization. I was the youngest Konark to be selected- a rare honour! And God saw the girl shedding hidden tears now shedding tears of joy!

I wonder if you know what it is like to tell God 'All' your desires. A long list of your dreams, hopes and plans. Then the last line you add before the Amen, almost as an afterthought - 'Nevertheless Lord, Not my will but thine be done'. From life's experiences I like to think - The good Lord didn’t hear any of the lines I prayed except the last one. On the dot of the last line, a bell rings in heaven placing Leena's order request for her situation- "God's will". And needless to say, the answer dispatched is often just what I had hoped wouldn’t happen. Nonetheless, I must add I always rejoice when I reminisce the ways God has led me. His will has never failed to be the best, even when it hurt to accept it.
There are a million times it may seem like God answered prayers just the way I'd like it. But for all those "Differentially answered” prayers, I believe Romans 8v28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose.

Lets pray to the Father like Jesus taught - "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven".