Making of a Merry Marriage

We spend a big chunk of our life studying, preparing for a career. Sad to say though, we hardly prepare for marriage! And if we did prepare, do we make a conscious effort to continually 'Learn' about being a better spouse?

Lloyd and myself enjoy attending marriage seminars/retreats. Unfortunately, nothing of that sort exists in the Christian community here in Muscat, Oman. Hence, we look forward to our vacation in India, for such events. And if there are no events then, we take two days to be by ourselves at Cornerstone (Scripture Union campsite) in Mahabalipuram. It is a kind of yearly ritual for us.

Cornerstone brings me to Rod and Ruthie Gilbert, the reason for this post! When I first heard of them, I had reservations on how they could relate to an Indian context of marriage. Having lived a large part of their lives in India, and finally having heard them in person, I admit they relate very well indeed. Rod and Ruthie have co-authored a wonderful book - 'Marriage Masala'.
We had the awesome privilege of attending a one-day marriage seminar by them, here in Muscat. God is good! He sends Streams in the Desert.

As I 'Googled' Rod and Ruthie Gilbert, in order to add a hyperlink to this post, I came upon this wonderful blog post by Andy, from Oman - Andy in Oman. He has covered the seminar extremely well with pictures of the self-explanatory PowerPoint too. A picture is worth a thousand words. Go ahead, follow the link and read the post!

Key Learning’s -
Marriage is a Lifelong Learner's Licence

Learn to
- Love - Ask God to teach you, to communicate love to your spouse. 5 love languages by Gary Chapman.
- Lighten each other's Load - Know the loads that occupy your partner's brain space!
- Look at each other -Gaze into each other’s eyes daily for at least 10 seconds - like when you first got married :-)

Model for Marriage - Christ !
Men - Ephesians 5 v 25
Love your wife as Christ loved the Church. Christ loved the church with sacrificial love and adorned her with unmerited favour - Grace. Love my wife the same way!

Women - Ephesians 5 v 22
Submit to your husband as to the Lord. How would I treat Jesus? Treat my husband in the same manner!

The Umbrella explanation for Submission.
For some 'Submission' is a bitter pill. God bestows a woman, freedom in submission. While the husband bears the headship responsibility before God, the wife is freed to serve alongside her husband.
Biblical Submission has nothing to do with being a Slave; rather it is synonymous to ‘Service with a smile'.

Not my will but thine be done.

What I wanted to become and still occasionally dream of, is story for another day. But one thing I definitely didn’t want, was to become an Engineer! Nevertheless, I prayed dutifully - Not my will Lord, but thine be done. There something about God I don't understand. He takes me very seriously on lines of prayer, that I don’t really mean. After 12th just when life was all about broken dreams, I landed in the college I didn’t like, doing just what I didn’t want- Engineering. Four years later the tide had turned. I had the time of my life doing just that, being just there! Disguised blessings - that’s what my life seems all about.

Final year was a whirlwind with project submission and campus placements. Six months before final exams, I secured Campus placement (read Job) in a Software company. Now here's the joke - I did Electronics and Communication Engineering simply because I hated "Computer/Software Engineering.".The Job was indeed a bad joke but I laughed and accepted life- lemons and all! My motto, "Not my will but thine be done.”

The first day at office required me to sign a service bond of 2 years in return for all the training that I would receive. I needed to have a guarantor co-sign the bond agreeing to pay the amount of 2 lakh rupees, in case I defaulted. For some reason I didn’t receive the email nor the postal intimation of the same. I was in Muscat when a friend informed the date of joining. My return, cut short the trip and mummy’s hopes of gathering her chick back into the nest. With an aching heart, I whispered, 'Not my will but thine be done'.

There I was, on reporting day now but without a guarantor. The HR and legal department were mad at the campus recruits (4 of us) who couldn’t follow orders! Imagine flouting the rules on the very first day. At the first break from the angry tirade, I ran to the toilet and locked myself. To the thunderous accompaniment of running water, I poured my heart to God. All I wanted to do was leave, never to return. Yet, my heart uttered from its deepest recesses - 'Lord not my will but thine be done'. There is something about toilets, tears and triumph, but that’s for later! When I returned, the higher ups seemed kinder and suggested I bring a local guardian or parent within 2 days. My relative in Chennai signed the bond the very next day.
3 years and many awards later, I was selected as a 'Konark' - Mentor in the organization. I was the youngest Konark to be selected- a rare honour! And God saw the girl shedding hidden tears now shedding tears of joy!

I wonder if you know what it is like to tell God 'All' your desires. A long list of your dreams, hopes and plans. Then the last line you add before the Amen, almost as an afterthought - 'Nevertheless Lord, Not my will but thine be done'. From life's experiences I like to think - The good Lord didn’t hear any of the lines I prayed except the last one. On the dot of the last line, a bell rings in heaven placing Leena's order request for her situation- "God's will". And needless to say, the answer dispatched is often just what I had hoped wouldn’t happen. Nonetheless, I must add I always rejoice when I reminisce the ways God has led me. His will has never failed to be the best, even when it hurt to accept it.
There are a million times it may seem like God answered prayers just the way I'd like it. But for all those "Differentially answered” prayers, I believe Romans 8v28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose.

Lets pray to the Father like Jesus taught - "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven".

Worth Sharing !

I have lived this poem so many times ....am sure it will touch you too !

Let Go and Let God

As children bring their broken toys
with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
because he was my friend.

But then, instead of leaving him
in peace, to work alone;
I hung around and tried to help,
with ways that were my own.

Atlast, I snatched them back and cried,
"How could you be so slow?"
"My child" he said, "What could I do?
You never did let go"

 -Lauretta P. Burns

Heaven's newest Angel !

My younger sister carried a precious baby for 22 weeks (5 months+) and then God recalled the gift for reasons he knows best ! This lil' one is heaven's newest Angel addition.
I was at my previous blog post 'Joy in the shadows' on Thursday morning when I had a strong prompting to type Psalm23v4 - 'Even though I walk through the valley of shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For thou art with me..'. What I intended about shadow in the post was Joy in Shadow of the Jesus. I argued in my mind that the shadow of death had no comparison to the shadow i was typing about.Yet my fingers flew over the words as my heart declared the psalm.The very instant I was done with writing down Psalm23v4, I got mummy's call expressing concern over Liza's checkup that was in progress at the hospital.With prayers in my heart and on my lips,I got ready in an instant to join them at the hospital.
Many tears have been shed. The emotional stretch and tear is far greater than any physical pain Liz could have experienced.Indeed Liz survived not on the crutch of religion but on her relationship with her Life Support - Jesus.
We, the created, cling to the one who gives life and takes it away. And yet, the Creator has not distanced himself from Creation.Jesus holds us closer to his bosom and we experience his love like never before. Death reminds us that we are not on earth forever and Hope keeps us alive. Our hope is in Jesus - for he is the hope that does not disappoint. Hope brings Joy. In hope we await our heavenly home. Indeed, weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning !!
You know what, its not about Shadows after all, its all about JOY- Joy in Jesus.